Me, myself and I (reflexive pronouns explained)

People have some pretty strong feelings about the way our language is used and abused if a recent Emphasis blog post is anything to go by. One source of irritation that stood out as a real piece of apple skin between the teeth was the incorrect use of reflexive pronouns.

What are they?

Reflexive pronouns are basic pronouns + ‘self’ or ‘selves’. They are:

•      myself

•      yourself

•      herself

•      himself

•      itself

•      yourselves

•      themselves.

So what’s the right way to use them?

Officially, you should use reflexive pronouns in sentences where the subject (the person or thing carrying out the action) and the object (the person or thing on the receiving end of the action) are the same. For example:

I patted myself on the back for mastering grammar.

He dusted himself down, then rang her doorbell.

She gave herself a wink in the mirror and said, ‘Go get ‘em, tiger.’

Reflexive pronouns can also be employed for emphasis (where, technically, they could be removed, leaving the sense the same):

I knitted this whole scarf myself.

Did you shear the whole flock for it yourself?

It’s advisable not to overdo this usage, however, as it quickly becomes overbearing.

And the wrong way to use them?

Cue much gritting of teeth.

‘I think this house is absolutely perfect for yourselves.’

‘I’d be grateful if you could send that information over to myself.’

Whereas what the culprits really mean is:

‘I think this house is absolutely perfect for you.’

‘I’d be grateful if you could send that information over to me.’

These examples make the mistake of using these words as replacements for the basic pronouns (you, me), as if they were some kind of upmarket equivalent. Sadly, there is no such upgrade: it’s just plain wrong.

If we, ourselves, have reminded you of anything that really gets your goat – or floats your boat – on the English language front, please join the fun by leaving your comments at our blog yourselves (sorry).

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Author: Catie Holdridge

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Catie joined Emphasis with an English literature and creative writing degree and a keen interest in what makes language work. Having researched, written, commissioned and edited dozens of articles for the Emphasis blog, she now knows more about the intricacies of effective professional writing than she ever thought possible.

She produced and co-wrote our online training programme, The Complete Business Writer, and these days oversees all the Emphasis marketing efforts. And she keeps office repartee at a suitably literary level.